Ella’s fifth year

The episode where everybody gets sick. That’s what the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 felt like.

As I walk back through all of the fun memories of Jonathan being born and a lot of figuring things out with 3 kids 4 and under; it just felt like everyone was sick every other week.

Ella continued to have a 911/ambulance ride every couple of months for seizures. There were no answers to our problems and we were juggling life. Trying to keep a 3-year-old happy, trying to figure out my Jon was so “spitty” and fussy and feeling like I was failing them both because Ella needed more. I look back on 2010-2013 as the years we can’t get back. The snuggles missed because we were in hospitals, the play dates or birthdays unattended because it didn’t work and the pure exhaustion from a mom going through her own medical hell along the way.

We survived, but only because it’s what God had written into the plan. These are also the years where our marriage was hard because we were a SOLID team, but everything revolved around the kids and survival.

I am still working through guilt over Jon’s first year because he was just along for the crazy ride, and throwing up the whole time. Ella seemed to roll with the punches, but it’s about to catch up with us all. Luckily, she showed up as a VERY JOYFUL 5-year-old, which is God’s grace.